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Tantor Audio

The Grief of Others

3.8
Regular price
€82,00
Sale price
€82,00
Regular price
€134,00
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Description

Is keeping a secret from a spouse always an act of infidelity? And what cost does such a secret exact on a family?

The Ryries have suffered a loss: the death of a baby just fifty-seven hours after his birth. Without words to express their grief, the parents, John and Ricky, try to return to their previous lives. Struggling to regain a semblance of normalcy for themselves and for their two older children, they find themselves pretending not only that little has changed, but that their marriage, their family, have always been intact. Yet in the aftermath of the baby's death, long-suppressed uncertainties about their relationship come roiling to the surface. A dreadful secret emerges with reverberations that reach far into their past and threaten their future.

The couple's children, ten-year-old Biscuit and thirteen-year-old Paul, responding to the unnamed tensions around them, begin to act out in exquisitely-perhaps courageously-idiosyncratic ways. But as the four family members scatter into private, isolating grief, an unexpected visitor arrives, and they all find themselves growing more alert to the sadness and burdens of others-to the grief that is part of every human life but that also carries within it the power to draw us together.

Moving, psychologically acute, and gorgeously written, The Grief of Others asks how we balance personal autonomy with the intimacy of relationships, how we balance private decisions with the obligations of belonging to a family, and how we take measure of our own sorrows in a world rife with suffering. This novel shows how one family, by finally allowing itself to experience the shared quality of grief, is able to rekindle tenderness and hope.

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Customer Reviews

A Family Falling ApartRicky Ryrie just gave birth to her son, Simon, who will in 57 hours, breathe his last breath. Simon is diagnosed with a condition that is "incompatible with life" during Ricky's 5th month of pregnancy. The choice that Ricky makes in that moment will affect each member of her family. THE GRIEF OF OTHERS tells the story of the life before, during and after Simon. The Ryrie family is falling apart. Grief and lies tear them apart and grief and truth will pull them together. 4A touching look at the ways that grief can affect a familyThis book did not always ring true to me, but it is very well written and especially good at making readers care for the family. I would recommend this to others with no problem 4Kindle reveals flaw, but overall excellent storyThe Grief of OthersI first picked up Leah Hager Cohen's "The Grief of Others" in the Bunch of Grapes bookstore on Martha's Vineyard, but downloaded it on my poor Kindle, growing dusty with misuse as I have been drawn back into the world of actual books. That decision helped me to see what I did not like about this otherwise quite nice book."The Grief of Others" is about how a family copes with a third child who dies shortly after birth - and the parents pretty much ignore the event. No discussions with their two young children, no funeral, the mother doesn't even let the father hold the baby during the child's 50-something hours of life. Other losses weave in and out of the main narrative.I was drawn to the book because I am a hospice volunteer and so often encounter grief. Also, the main character, a woman, is named Ricky, and I am a Ricki who has spent a lifetime telling people that females with this name have an "I" or "ie," never a male "y." So much for that.Back to the Kindle. Looking at only three paragraphs at a time as I adjusted the font to my 50-year+ old eyeballs, I couldn't help but notice that some paragraphs, especially towards the end, go on ... and on ... and on. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But embedded in the long paragraphs are sentences with many clauses, offset by commas as well as dashes. These meandering sentences mimic the way people think, but not the way they read, and it's easy to become lost in what is being said. This is especially true when short, snappy dialog is interrupted with long, convoluted thoughts. After the thought ends, more often than not, thanks to the Kindle encapsulation phenomenon, I've lost track of what's being discussed. I had to constantly go back and pick up the thread of the conversation. That slowed my reading.But all and all I liked the book very much. The family dynamics are intriguing and the analysis of the nuances of dealing with grief well done. 4Grief needs to be recognizedIndeed the journey to this awakening in Cohen's immense novel is pain filled and tortured. Each member of the disparate group has their own devious travels. The characters reflect the imperfections of humankind. 5too close to homeI found this a strange read, as well, I can't really say but I found it had to similarities to where I live (which is where it is set) someone has my name, on and on, so I couldn't read it without identifying with it somehow? 3Gripping and CompellingI found this book to be absolutely compelling and beautifully written. An intimate exploration of parenthood, childhood, and family life this book explores the impact of one mother's decision and its trickle-down effect upon her family. "The Grief of Others" raises many questions and attempts (wisely) to answer very few. I found it thought-provoking with thoroughly developed and complex characters. I highly recommend this book.(A film is in the works.) 5THE COST OF SECRETS ON A FAMILY....Loss presents itself in its many forms throughout this portrait of a family: the Ryries, who live in Nyack, NY, and seemingly live ordinary lives.When their third child is born anencephalic, his death is a certainty. In fact, he lives for fifty-seven hours.Then the family shifts into everyday life, with scarcely a blink, and their separate grief unfolds in symptomatic ways that reveal the testing of the bonds that connect them.The Grief of Others is narrated in alternating perspectives, moving back and forth between the past and present. In the beginning, we see the ten-year-old daughter Biscuit struggling with her own ritualistic way of dealing with what has happened.Paul, the thirteen-year-old, is silently suffering while being brutally bullied by classmates.And John and Ricky, the parents, move along parallel pathways, seldom connecting at all, until it is soon apparent that the events of loss were not the trigger for their disintegrating marriage, but the instrument that casts a spotlight upon what is wrong in their relationship. Secrets, betrayals, and lies are all gradually revealed as the reader turns the pages.A wild card in this tragic family portrait is Jess, John's daughter from a youthful relationship; her unexpected appearance could tip the fragile balance between them all. She is in her early twenties and has only spent time with the Ryries once before, on a vacation to the family cabin when she was in her early teens.Will Jess's needs somehow breathe life into the disintegrating family? Will her presence somehow bring the family together? Or will her individual set of lies and secrets cast the final stone on the funeral pyre that seemingly defines the family group?This story was beautifully crafted and the characterizations were rich and multilayered, lending an authenticity to the drama as it played out, showing the reader that families are often comprised of individuals living parallel existences until something or someone helps shift the balance to bring about a kind of catharsis.I recommend this story for anyone who wants to understand the nature of grief, and its effect on individuals and on the family. Four stars. I deducted a star for one missing ingredient: emotion. 4DisappointedVery disappointed in this novel. Whoever edited the book should be looking for work in another occupation. I found a number of situations where the characters contradicted themselves. The most interesting character is the young girl, Biscuit, but her role in the story fades away as the novel moves forward. 2well writtenWhile I haven't finished reading this book yet, I am thoroughly enjoying it. Each character is portrayed in depth, giving the story wonderful texture. I look forward each day to picking up where I left off the day before. I would highly recommend it to others who love the story of imperfect families. 5Tender & moving readThe prologue to THE GUILT OF OTHERS is exquisitely poignant: a mother refusing to let go her new born baby whose congenital birth defects were discovered in the womb when the foetus was five months. The baby's birth and death brings to the surface molten cracks in the Ryrie family that have simmered unacknowledged for years.The story moves back and forth between John and Ricky Ryrie, their children Paul and Biscuit, John's pregnant eldest daughter from a previous relationship, Jess, and a stranger, Gordie. Binding them all together, as most of humanity is bound together, are the threads of birth and death.Cohen's compassionate prose slides easily between the year since the baby was born and died, and the first time Jess met her biological father. In all the Ryrie's memories, that long ago holiday was a golden time, a time of perfect happiness in which the possibility of death, while a real threat (a single mother drowns in the lake, leaving behind two orphaned children) cannot touch them.But death - in the form of baby Simon - does touch the family and, in doing so, cracks their fears and flaws, their wounds and worries, wide open. The underlying question in the story is whether that perfect holiday was an illusion. Or was the love underpinning it real enough to salvage the family from their current crisis of grief and pain?The last chapter, however, was a bit strange: there were a few questions raised (did John sleep with Madeleine? Were Gordie's father's dioramas put on show?) that were dealt with tangentially, as the story shifted from the personal details of a family we, as readers, have come to know intimately, to a more universal viewpoint. I suggest that this was an attempt to link the personal with the collective; to show that all the joys and sorrows of life are shared not only by individual families, but by all people, loved ones and strangers alike. For me, though, while the philosophy behind the chapter was interesting and well-written, the abrupt change of style was confusing, pulling me out of my involvement with the Ryries, rather than leaving me with a sense of restoration and completion.Overall, though, THE GUILT OF OTHERS is a tender and moving story, beautifully written and held together with the lightest of touches 4
The Grief of Others

The Grief of Others

3.8
Error You can't add more than 500 quantity.
Regular price
€82,00
Sale price
€82,00
Regular price
€134,00
Sold out
Unit price
per 
Save 39% (€52,00)